Tuesday, December 11, 2012

A list of things I wish were different about myself:

1.       That I were more humble

I annoy myself with my impulse to have last words, and know all the things.

2.       That I would be dependable

I was born with an almost complete insensitivity to plans and the importance of being on time.

3.       That I could give convincing compliments

I rarely believe anymore I can say something nice and sound sincere, I am much more fluent in sarcasm.

4.       That I didn’t have anxiety attacks over unimportant things

Talking to people. Calling customer service.  Making eye contact.

5.       That I didn’t watch so much t.v.

Always in the background, it has become a dear but obnoxious friend.

6.       That I answered the phone more often

Because of #4 I sometimes don’t answer the phone (especially if I haven’t been praying).

7.       That I picked up the phone to call more often

I always appreciate the good conversation afterword.

8.       That I could get angry (and not sin)

Some people get angry all over the place, other people get angry and don’t know where to put it.

9.       That I chose the awkward conversation over the stale relationship

Has to do with #4 and #8.

10.   That I not talk about minor successes as though they were conclusions

“Take heed those who stand…”

Just felt like sharing, mostly to help with #1 and unspoken #11 (finishing projects I start)

The end!

Thursday, August 16, 2012

I am Excited.

In two days it will be my and my husband's two year anniversary. The original plan was to take a four day weekend camping trip to McCall where we would fish and celebrate the frugal life by preparing our own food and letting the moutain air remind us of why we are such a good couple: we both enjoy being somewhere else as long as it's together. Plans went askew, however, when we realized just how frugal we would have to be (to the point of smothering the fun out of it) and just how difficult it was to navigate the mountains with all the wildfires running rampant. Add to that I'm 33 weeks pregnant today...

Instead a new opportunity popped up. I remembered that the Western Idaho Fair was this weekend and have wanted to go every year since we've gotten married--including the year we got married. Why not this year?? So I began my fervant planning. Buying advance tickets, looking up the events taking place on different days. I believe we're going to go two whole days so that we can walk around the entire place ten times and eat too much food that hurts my stomach, and overall have a blast.

I am excited.

On top of that I was thinking to myself whilst planning, wouldn't it be fun if there was a place we could stay in the area for free? I used to house-sit frequently but I couldn't think of anyone that I could kick out of their house in time. Not even two hours later a friend of mine starts texting me about how stressful her week was going to be, she had to work many hours and also had agreed to dog sit for someone; just how was she going to stay sane? Oh my, thought me, this could be perfect. So I tentatively presented her with a solution: Jose and I could help with the dog sitting (if it were ok with everyone involved) and she could have a break while helping us out. Long story short she poked around and figured out it was ok, and we were set! We arrived today and while the place isn't a luxurious resort it IS somewhere other than home and it is comfortable. Plus the dog is way cute.

How excited I am.

In other news in the span of a week I decided I was going to grad school.


Tidbits and details will leak out as time goes by, but for now I'll say that I can go through my first Masters program guilt free knowing that jobs will be available to be on the other side. And all this was pieced together through a series of fortuitous events that I had no way of knowing would be there. Like me taking a job I never thought I would take. Then a friend suggesting I investigate a possible promotion. Then me making a phone call to Regent University (my grad school of choice) and learning that the perfect program was available for me to complete in a year.


And my baby boy is getting ready to make his way into the world. I can feel his little feet now if I search with my hand. Today I used my fingers to bop his heel (or his elbow) and could feel it swish forward and back. I love the feeling that I can initiate touching him now.

Let's see, what else? God has provided finances where there have been none, opportunities to open the door to friendships that have been closed off for years, and people telling me about free stuff that may be available for me and the baby, and, and, and... I think that's all.

Don't get me wrong, there have been challenges this week as well. I'm hecka nervous about my future work schedule and how I'm going to juggle it all, but I'm trying to surrender it. And Jose's work schedule is also sketchy. I also have something on my mind that's disgruntling me that I need to write about soonish, probably while I'm staying at this place that has a computer with a keyboard that's not missing any keys. I may disgruntle a few of you as well with my opinion on the matter but I need to let the expectation go that I can make all my adoring fans happy all the time.

So enjoy the panoramic snapshot into my life. This was brought to you by falling asleep before Jose, being woken up by him later, and not wanting to go back to bed.

Thursday, July 26, 2012


Day four of taking myself seriously has gone splendidly. I set a goal out of nowhere to talk to at least two people a day (except for Sundays and occasionally Tuesdays as I have a day of rest and a day of practice for worship team that can get in the way) and so far I’ve been getting it done. Looking back over my week and musing over why all of a sudden I decided to take myself and my business seriously all I can think is that it started with finally listening to the conference and opportunity calls and my brother getting his hands on the book The Slight Edge.

Reading the Slight Edge has been great. The principles in it aren’t anything necessarily new, which in my opinion makes them even more credible, but are reminders of things I needed reminding of. Like do things. If you don’t do things things won’t get done. And learn things, because if you aren’t being mentored or surrounded by the influences that are going to draw you in the right direction you will flounder.

Absorb absorb, that’s the habit I want to create. Oh, and face my fears. Because every time I’m about to do an appointment I get absolutely petrified.

I don’t even know what it is I’m afraid of. The only possibilities I’ve landed on aren’t necessarily that I won’t get a sale, or that I won’t find someone else who wants to do the business as much as I do, but really it’s the fear that I’m going to make a fool of myself or say something that misrepresents what I do. I have indeed had those appointments. So now my current solution is to pray this before each and every appointment: “God, please let me represent you well in everything I do, including this. Help me to be sensitive to this person’s needs and not my own agenda, and help me to love others the way you want me to.”
Pretty straightforward, and so far it hasn’t necessarily changed the fact that I get nervous (though that has definitely been on the decline) but as soon as I start talking I feel myself tuning in to the other person instead of falling back on an internal script. This flexibility makes me feel so much better at the end of an appointment; like I’ve given it my best and I have nothing to be ashamed of.

To close today, I’ll end with one of the quotes that inspired me: “How can you judge the course of action you’re taking by its results, when its results come last? The problem with focusing on results is simply that it doesn’t work. Having your attention on your results is like driving your car by looking in the rearview mirror. Your results live in the past, and like all things in the past, they belong there.” (pg. 108, The Slight Edge)

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

I'm baaaack

I’ve finally decided to blog again! It’s been on my mind for almost a year, every time I read a topic that has me agitated or pensive I think, “Why not blog again? You LOVE to talk, you LOVE to share your opinion which you feel is lacking, so why not?”

My “why not” this year was working full time, though now I think that was mostly an excuse to be lazy in my down time. My other more recent excuse was that my dog (who passed about a month ago) decided to chew my power cord to uselessness, and this was after he’d already popped off 20% of the keys.

But you know what, one of the lessons I have been working on in my personal life applies to this all. It’s the lesson that when someone wants to see something done they have to actually do it. If I want people to consider my perspective, or hear about my life’s journey, that isn’t going to happen on accident. I have so many areas personal and professional that demand that I follow through and this is just another one. Do I face mediocre obstacles? Yes, of course. Me not having a usable computer sucks. But I do have the kind of technology that allows me to use my phone to do amazing things that five years ago I couldn’t have done, and if I liken this to the western expansion I can lump myself in with the other great ones who made a way when one was not readily available.

I’m being dramatic but I want to keep things spicy for this grand return…

This being said I think I’m going to try talking about my business tomorrow (without trying to sell something). Lumped into the above category, I feel like there is much I’m learning about myself through trying to work out of my home part time that’s worth sharing. Until then…